Confession Time....

Wow what a year… Remember that girl who went from planning a wedding then heartbroken this time last year? Yeah, me either.

Without that devastating loss I wouldn’t have started to search for what makes me happy again, and I certainly never would have found it in the places I was previously looking. I still have days where I miss the person I thought they were (simply because I thought they were my best friend).

But more importantly, when I look at what and who I’ve gained by losing them, I would never in a million years even want to go back. I still talk about it because I know so many of you are hurting- and you need to hear that you’ll never get over your heartbreak unless you WANT to. Stop asking. Stop thinking. Stop making excuses.

I know firsthand that betrayal is like having your best friend asking you to go on a boat trip only to have them knock you in the water with anchors tied to your ankles when you aren’t looking. But you don’t drown when you fall into the water- you drown when you stay there. So get up… get going… pull yourself out of that water by doing whatever (healthy) means necessary & go find your new & improved happy!

How did I get through this past year? I made an appointment to go to therapy (not my first time, either) I’m telling you this because I have a chance to tell this giant platform of people that if you feel “stuck” it’s OK to get help. I’m more than social media consultant, blogger, and mother of 2 boys. That barely scratches the surface. I am me, and what I do for a living comes second & I’m not wasting the opportunity to tell you that it’s ok. It’s all ok…. So, my dear friends/followers, if you ever feel like you need direction, clarification, or coping… go. If you don’t take care of yourself no one else will.

Going through the transition of being a fiance and planning my life with someone who I thought was everything I was looking for, to finding myself single and starting all over again was torture. It was even harder to endure than my divorce because I wanted it even more and had invested so much of myself into proving it could and should work and that I was worthy of love, even if it was the wrong kind of love. Even though I knew it was the right decision doesn’t mean it wasn’t painful.

To top it off I felt like a failure as a mother by having my kids watch me endure this heartbreak. I had to try and comfort my boys while they were crying their eyes out as well for their loss. I felt responsible for causing them pain and watching their hearts hurt too.

You know what my therapist said? He said he was proud of me for allowing my kids to cry and feel sad for me AND for themselves. My therapist told me my boys will watch me push forward and that we WILL get through it. He allowed me to vent in ways I couldn’t with anyone else. He allowed me to find solutions to deal with loss in a healthy way. My boys will see that life got hard and that we all properly grieved for the loss and able to overcome it. And guess what, we all did!

Being a single mother didn’t come by choice. It happens because sometimes we trust in the wrong people and somehow still fall short. I literally felt my life spin out of control, and then had everything fall back into place again. It’s been one of the hardest years of my life, and yet I’m so grateful for it & for everyone who has stuck in here with me throughout the way.

I know I am blessed. I am whole. I am not alone. I am enough. We are enough. YOU ARE ENOUGH. We are a blessing- not a burden. Don’t believe anything else and watch your life change.

Be done with the sadness & crippling heartbreak. It’s not meant for you. 💜

I am happy again! Probably the happiest I have been in my adult life! I know my worth and know what I deserve. I am stronger because of this past year. When you can tell your story and it doesn’t make you cry anymore… then you know you have healed.

P.S. Thank you to Dee Akright for the amazing photos again!